A sticky situation

Thank God! The Nair finally arrived!  Oh, hang on a sec...before I continue, for all you men out there who are reading this, you can skip this post as it's all about "girly" stuff.

Okay, now I've got that (or rather "them") out of the way, we ladies can have a "gal" (as they say here) conversation.  And let's start with waxing.

Is there an Aussie girl who doesn't have a tub of Veet or Nair microwavable, water-soluble wax underneath her bathroom sink?  No, I didn't think so!  I have been using this product for years - bikini lines, underarms and any other areas where a hair might appear that shouldn't - not that I can see them these days without my glasses - a by-product of aging which I despise.

So, I arrive in the US a mere 6 weeks ago, and go to the supermarket to buy, amongst other things, some wax.  Shock, horror!  All they had was "Nads"!  Just the name alone conjures up images of a word pronounced the same, but spelled with a silent "g".  Anyway, as Nads was all they had apart from depilatory creams, I bought it.  For those of you who have never used Nads, it's strange because it's "cold" and "green".  Anyway, I dispensed with that because I couldn't work it out, and then continued my mission for Veet or Nair.  Actually, while I'm typing this, I'm thinking that Nair has kind of done a disappearing act in Australia and that Veet is the No.1 depilatory product.  Am I correct?

So, back to my mission.  I went to Walgreen's (like a Terry White, but not as nice), but no luck.  So, there's a place called "Got Beauty" down the road, and they have great girly stuff: make-up, accessories, skin care, hair care etc.  So I asked the girl if they had any home waxing kits.  "Yes", the lovely attendant said (and all shop attendants are lovely in the US - so far).  Eureka!  They have wax!  Anyway, the brand was not one I was at all familiar with, but bought it in any event.  I thought it was expensive compared to what we pay for our wax in Australia and was curious as to why the young lady serving me suggested I purchase a "pack" of wooden spatulas.  That, right there, should have been a clue.  But I said that two would be enough. Huh!

So, as soon as I got home, I started the waxing process.  Put the wax in the microwave, got the talc out, laid out the wax strips, dipped my spatula into the wax and spread it on to my underarm region; applied the wax strip and rip!  Done!  Oops, gosh, I got wax on the sink, oh damn!  And then spilled some wax on the lid.  "Never mind", I thought.  "I'll just rinse it under the tap".  Hang on, why can't I put my arm down without it sticking to the side of my body?  And why isn't the wax rinsing off under the tap?  And why is the wax stuck to the sink.  "For goodness sake!  What's happening?"  So, I flap out to the bedroom like a seagull with it's wings up (which my husband witnesses and looks at me strangely but doesn't comment) to get my glasses, so I can read the very tiny print on the back of the wax jar. Well, guess what?  The wax isn't water-soluble!  Can you believe that someone makes a home wax kit that is NOT water-soluble.  So, to make a long story longer, it took 5 minutes of scrubbing under my arms before I could relax my wings, and I'm still trying to get the wax off the sink - and that was 3 weeks' ago. 

After returning the wax to the store, I went online to get some "water-soluble" wax - the kind we have back home.  It appears that Veet US doesn't even sell wax unless it's in strips (which personally I think are useless), so I went to the Nair website and ordered a peach melon water-soluble microwavable wax!  That was on 5 October!  After two phone calls and two emails, it finally arrived today, obviously having made its way to me on a slow boat from China.  Actually, I've noticed that it is made in Spain, so it may have come from there.  But can you believe, a country as vast as the US doesn't sell water-soluble wax in stores here?  Now, I must state at this point, that I am in Utah, and perhaps in other States of the US, they have a little more variety.  But I would have thought that microwavable wax was as mandatory as tampons...which brings me to my next topic.

Now, guys, I did warn you at the beginning, so if you're still reading, feel free, but no screwing up your nose okay?

Ladies, here there is only one brand of tampons! I kid you not.  They have Tampax - you know the things with the applicators, but they scare me, so they're out.  Yes, one brand!  At this point, I don't know what else to say because I know you are all reading this blog in complete disbelief and your jaw has probably dropped down to your chest.

So, if you are moving to or visiting the US, please bring your own Veet, Libra...and Diflucan (just in case, because you can only get it with a script here).

And I know all the determined men who are still reading this blog are scratching their heads going "what the hell is Diflucan?"  Well, you don't need to know.

Over and out for now - gotta go and do  some waxing!