Now anyone who knows me will attest to the fact that I am very high maintenance when it comes to coffee, and if anyone is reading this who has at one time served me a coffee, they will know who I am. I am the "half-strength soy flat white with no froth and hot" girl.
One of my dearest friends, LA, loves telling people that she has never been with me when I haven't returned a coffee. This, of course, is an over-exaggeration as there are certain cafes in Brisbane that have their own "button" for me and I don't even need to tell them what I want. In fact, there are cafes that I haven't been to in months and the waiter will still remember what I ordered from the last time I visited.
So, you can imagine the shock and horror of arriving in a country where everyone, except the Americans, knows that American coffee is just dreadful. I mean "yuck". They, including my husband (and his name is Brian so I don't have to keep calling him "my husband" which I think all newlyweds love to do - does this last?), drink this stuff that I think they only serve in McDonalds in Australia. It's percolated coffee and you see Americans drinking it often on their TV shows. This coffee can sit in its pot all day and they just pour it in a cup and drink it. The subject of "creamer" will be another topic of discussion at a later date.
However, the Americans do make espresso coffee and they have lattes (a lot), mochas (which I discovered today they pronounce mow-caz as in "mowing" the lawn) and a few other variations. BUT they do not know what a Flat White is. So..this is how it goes for me:
"May I please have a single shot espresso, in a cup, with hot steamed soy to the top with no foam?". Bless them, but by the end of that spiel, they sometimes forget the "no foam" part, so, yes, it has to go back. However, I am much more tolerant here than I was back home. I think I have learned not to expect much when it comes to coffee and food (again, another topic for another day). Or maybe moving to America is one big exercise in teaching me tolerance.
The other day, I went into Barnes and Noble - the bookstore, and they have this great little coffee area where you can sit and read any of their books, but the coffee they serve is "Starbucks". Yes, I know, I know. You can see where this is leading right? Anyway, I went through the spiel, took a sip of my coffee and if anyone had seen me at this point they were probably wondering what had happened to make my face contort in the manner it did. Truly, this coffee reminded me of the one I had once attempted to drink in New York. It was burnt, bitter, soooo hot (probably why it was burnt) and they use this vanilla soy milk which makes the coffee sickly sweet. So, I went up to the counter and said: "I'm sorry, I can't drink this as it is burnt and tastes awful". The lovely girl who had made the coffee offered to make me another. I did consider rejecting this offer, but was dying for a coffee, so said "ok". It wasn't as hot, but just as bad. So, I left it on the counter saying "So sorry, I still can't drink this but it's not you, it's just terrible coffee!"
Okay, now for the positive news. I actually found a great cafe that makes fabulous coffee. It's called "Finn's" and they use Levazza coffee, While I still haven't worked out how to order the coffee in a neat and concise manner, I'm hoping they go: "Oh, it's her again" and either assign me my own "button" or just know what I want. This cafe also makes great breakfasts and they make their own breads and pastries. I believe it's owned by a Norwegian. So...I am once again, a happy girl. Now I just have to work out how to get the cup served on a saucer!
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